And it’s keeping us from doing the things we actually want to do. — When I was in grade school, my lowest report-card score was always in the same category: Exercises Self-Control. That I still remember this exact wording roughly 40 years later says something about how much it hit home, and not just because my parents were the type to take report cards…

A one-hour event where I teach you some of the best stuff I know about how to get around internal resistance — and coach some volunteers too. In the year since I published my Medium essay on internal resistance, I’ve heard from so many people about their struggles to do…

You can hit your biggest, wildest goals and still be terrified that you don’t really have what it takes. Here’s why it happens, and what we can do instead. For years in my academic career, every paper I gave felt like I was walking a tightrope over an abyss. Any…

They promise to make you more productive, but they’re actually holding you back. Here’s how to demote them. — The garden fork I was going to visit my family overseas in a global pandemic. I had to schedule three different Covid tests in a 10-day period in two countries. I had to fill out a bunch of paperwork designed by government bureaucrats who had apparently never seen a website…

It’s time to think about self-transformation in a different way — Several years ago, I was on an academic fellowship and pretty sure I was failing at it. I’d envisioned myself getting to my office early every day, spending several hours virtuously writing, and then knocking off at 3 p.m. for a run. …

We don’t give up on our goals because we feel bad. We give up because of what we think feeling bad means. Here’s how to think differently. Let’s say there’s a task that’s really important to you, but somehow you can’t seem to work on it. …

Just because it’s not good at steering or navigating doesn’t mean you need to leave it by the side of the road. Lately I’ve noticed my women clients saying things like “I know that’s just my ego talking” or “I know I shouldn’t care about the compliment, because that’s just…

Everything we value in the lives we currently have rests in part on past bad decisions. Is there anyone who doesn’t have a time or phase of their lives they regret? Something that they can’t quite forgive themselves for? For me and many women I know, it’s stuff from our…

There’s a quote that makes the rounds on social media that asks something like, “Remember when you desperately wanted to be where you are right now?” Although I get the point, I always found this question annoying. The implication seemed to be that as soon as we notice that we’ve…